Some dude called Dude came on our almost dead site and left a very disturbing comment about our flagship product the Dildroid. This was received like a electric shock.
Dude holy words were:
It’s very interesting!! But TOO weak to vibrate!! Thanks!!
These thruthfull revelation hit us like a ton of brick and opened our eye to see… We have been literally changed by these words… We had no choice but to take actions…
We first created a internal comity, to handle the crisis. It didn’t take long to realise that this was too big for our organisation to handle alone. We add to find experts… Our secretary half french half German remember that her grand father Dr. Sine Osidale, in WW2, was doing research for a eccentric professor called Evalsick Fock on vibration other shaky stuff. She told us he was one of the biggest brain around in mater of shaking things around. That was our guy! But she then explained us that back then he stopped all his work for Dr. Fock when he had bad vibration about this. He started investigating and found that all the research he made was in fact used to build a device able to destroy humanity! He found blueprints of the machine, it was horrible! The system was using babies and de axed evil wheel of doom and making this thing spin like crazy it generated huge wave of sick Fock vibrations! This device was supposed to be installed over Yellowstone park and would in order to provoke a huge volcanic eruption that would wipe humanity from this planet.
Evalsick Fock machine blueprints:
Anyway now hes retired and did swear to never do shaky stuff anymore. Anyway we didn’t have much choice but to try… When we spoke about Dude comments, he almost had a heart arrest! He told us he will take action right now! But sadly won’t be able to do research to help us…
So he made a online petition to cell phone manufacturer to ask them to make the phone more powerful when it come to vibration.
I urge you all to sign this petition to send a strong signal to these heartless soul who invest millions in useless features, and do not improve mechanical oscillations!
You can sign the online petition here: http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?DILDROID
(not sure how long it will stay online so be fast…)
Happy everything 2011 by the way!